Sleepless

Daddy and I are currently far apart. He has to be several states away right now, and I have to wait another month until I can be with Him again. This hurts me so badly. I feel as though my heart is being torn to shreds every moment we are apart. He knows how badly I miss Him and He misses me too.

To compensate for being so far apart for so long, Daddy and I are on the phone about 10 hours a day. And no matter how busy He is, He always calls when He is ready for me to sleep. I haven't gone a night without Him putting me to sleep in what feels like ages. I'm actually not able to sleep anymore, unless we go through our nightly ritual.

I have never really been a sound or heavy sleeper. To top it off, I also have night terrors and sometimes scream myself awake. And after I had woken up, I could never get back to sleep, and as a result, I would sometimes go weeks without more than a couple hours of sleep. I've always had this problem and can't remember a time this did not contribute to the reason I was undesirable to anyone before Daddy. However, needless to say, He is different. Not only does He not mind my restless slumber, He always just calms me and puts me back to sleep. He is so kind and understanding and a million other wonderful things. I am so unspeakably grateful for this and so many other things.

Now that we are apart, Daddy has a rule: if I wake up for any reason after He has put me to bed, I am to call Him immediately and He will put me back to sleep. I was nervous at first because this meant that I would be waking Him, sometimes after only an hour or two of sleep. I didn't want to disobey, but I balked at the thought of waking Him. I knew His sleep was much more important than mine. So the first night, I sat and fought with myself. Finally after about an hour of indecision, my will to obey won out over my unwillingness to wake Him. He was very upset when I told Him I had been awake for a long time. He put me to sleep, soothing me in a way only His voice can. The next morning, I was punished for waiting so long to call. Now on nights like tonight, when I am once again awake after only mere hours, I call first. He gave me permission to type this up before going to sleep again this morning, but its starting to get later every second and listening to His voice is working its magic on me. I can feel myself going to sleep when I wasn't even tired before I called. He truly is the best Daddy to me and I am so grateful to Him for loving me like He does.