Thursday, May 28, 2009
Hiatus
Ok I know I haven't been posting lately, but I am taking an official break from the blog. I have alot of things I need to figure out and need the hiatus from posting for awhile. Wish me luck...
Friday, May 15, 2009
Busy Busy Bee
Lately I have been so busy with my new job. I have been switching between first, second, and third shifts since I started and it has not been easy for me to actually get some rest or get anything else done for that matter. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't complain, after all I did beg for a job, but no matter how much I enjoy my work I am so drained lately. I haven't really slept or eaten since I started. I am hoping it will get better when my training is over and I settle into my permanent hours.
The 13th was mine and Sir's wedding anniversary. We spent the day together. We didn't really do anything extra special, just alot of time together and lots of sex. I had checked out some porn from work for the night and we watched some of it together. It was nice. We haven't had much time to just be together with nothing that has to be done.
It is strange to be in opposite roles for once. Since Sir graduated He has been home while I have been the one going to work all day. He is the one taking care of the house while I earn the money to pay our bills. It doesn't really bother me on a D/s level. Our relationship is not based on our perceived roles in the household alone. No, what bothers me about it is being the breadwinner, the one in charge and responsible for our livelihood. I am not used to the pressure it brings. He makes it look so effortless, perhaps because it is a role He was born into. I don't know. All I know is that I will be relieved when Sir gets His career going and I am no longer accountable for our very lives.
The 13th was mine and Sir's wedding anniversary. We spent the day together. We didn't really do anything extra special, just alot of time together and lots of sex. I had checked out some porn from work for the night and we watched some of it together. It was nice. We haven't had much time to just be together with nothing that has to be done.
It is strange to be in opposite roles for once. Since Sir graduated He has been home while I have been the one going to work all day. He is the one taking care of the house while I earn the money to pay our bills. It doesn't really bother me on a D/s level. Our relationship is not based on our perceived roles in the household alone. No, what bothers me about it is being the breadwinner, the one in charge and responsible for our livelihood. I am not used to the pressure it brings. He makes it look so effortless, perhaps because it is a role He was born into. I don't know. All I know is that I will be relieved when Sir gets His career going and I am no longer accountable for our very lives.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Daddy Days
Lately I have been missing Daddy more than usual. We still talk on the phone and online. But some days it just doesn't feel like enough. I love both my Sir and my Daddy. Maybe I'm just selfish, but I feel like I need them both to be involved in my life. Too bad its impossible to have them both always.
The arrangement that I have with Sir is a simple one: We are both free to sleep or play with other people as long as the other is aware of the "date" in advance and the new partner is aware that neither of us plan on leaving our marriage. Sounds simple right? The only problem is the lack of available females in our area. I just wouldn't feel right sleeping with another man if I knew that Sir didn't have any prospective "dates" lined up. It would just be strange...with one exception.
If I could, I would hop on the next flight just to spend even a few days with Daddy. I miss Him. I want to be with Him, even if we both know that it can't last forever. He won't share me and I won't leave my Sir. We are at an impasse. I have offered many times to just leave Him alone since I feel like my selfishness is just going to hurt Him. But time after time He refuses to let me go.
One thing we can agree on though is our view on me visiting. Both of us want to be together, even if its only for a few days. It would be worth the pain later. I personally don't think I could bear not ever knowing His touch on my body. The absence of it now is painful. Its a yearning that tugs at the void in me. I'm not saying that being with Sir isn't enough, its just different. Neither is better than the other, they are just too different to compare. This is why I can love them both without any competition in my heart. I can love both because they are so different from each other.
This summer is the last chance I will have for a long time to see Daddy. This August I start classes at a new college and I won't have time for vacations, especially if I can keep my job. I know that I will not have the money to visit unless Sir finds a good job close by. Even with His degree it will be hard to find good work. I am just hoping now that everything will work out for us.
The arrangement that I have with Sir is a simple one: We are both free to sleep or play with other people as long as the other is aware of the "date" in advance and the new partner is aware that neither of us plan on leaving our marriage. Sounds simple right? The only problem is the lack of available females in our area. I just wouldn't feel right sleeping with another man if I knew that Sir didn't have any prospective "dates" lined up. It would just be strange...with one exception.
If I could, I would hop on the next flight just to spend even a few days with Daddy. I miss Him. I want to be with Him, even if we both know that it can't last forever. He won't share me and I won't leave my Sir. We are at an impasse. I have offered many times to just leave Him alone since I feel like my selfishness is just going to hurt Him. But time after time He refuses to let me go.
One thing we can agree on though is our view on me visiting. Both of us want to be together, even if its only for a few days. It would be worth the pain later. I personally don't think I could bear not ever knowing His touch on my body. The absence of it now is painful. Its a yearning that tugs at the void in me. I'm not saying that being with Sir isn't enough, its just different. Neither is better than the other, they are just too different to compare. This is why I can love them both without any competition in my heart. I can love both because they are so different from each other.
This summer is the last chance I will have for a long time to see Daddy. This August I start classes at a new college and I won't have time for vacations, especially if I can keep my job. I know that I will not have the money to visit unless Sir finds a good job close by. Even with His degree it will be hard to find good work. I am just hoping now that everything will work out for us.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
First Day
Today was my first day of work. I had a great time getting to know my co-workers and learning about the store. I really like all my co-workers that I have met so far. It was a great day, but I am exhausted. I plan on writing more later, but for now I need to head to bed.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Yesterday
So yesterday turned out to be a fun day after all. Sir took me to my favorite Chinese restaurant and got take out. We took it to the state park and had a picnic. The rain held off for a couple of hours while we laid on the grass and ate egg rolls. Because it was overcast we had the whole place to ourselves and got free admission. Can't beat that. It was fun just sitting in a clearing surrounded by nature. I love just being together, all chores and worries forgotten. We just lay in the grass holding each other and talking about our life together. It was sweet.
I can hardly believe our anniversary is coming up. Sometimes it feels like we have been together much longer than we have, other days it feels like it has been no time at all. This will be our first wedding anniversary. Married one year already. Maybe it is because we have been through alot together. I hope the years to come aren't so hectic! But I guess the point is that there will be years to come. That thought makes the happy balloons in my stomach float and burst into confetti when I think about being with Him, being His, forever. I can't help but smile.
I can hardly believe our anniversary is coming up. Sometimes it feels like we have been together much longer than we have, other days it feels like it has been no time at all. This will be our first wedding anniversary. Married one year already. Maybe it is because we have been through alot together. I hope the years to come aren't so hectic! But I guess the point is that there will be years to come. That thought makes the happy balloons in my stomach float and burst into confetti when I think about being with Him, being His, forever. I can't help but smile.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Beltane
Today is one of my favorite holidays, Beltane! Yay for pagan fertility holidays! I'm not sure yet what if anything Sir and I are going to do to celebrate. Usually we just spend the day outside enjoying the rebirth of nature. However, its rainy today so our usual picnic is out.
In other news, I got the job! I am now a newly employed and contributing member of society. I will start as soon as my background check comes back. Did I mention what I will be doing? Working as a sales clerk in an Adult Book Store. I think its a nice fit. I have three years of retail experience and I have sold pretty much everything from shoes to CDs. This is my first time selling pornography, but honestly a product is a product to me. I guess this is one business where it pays to not be shy. I can't wait to start.
In other news, I got the job! I am now a newly employed and contributing member of society. I will start as soon as my background check comes back. Did I mention what I will be doing? Working as a sales clerk in an Adult Book Store. I think its a nice fit. I have three years of retail experience and I have sold pretty much everything from shoes to CDs. This is my first time selling pornography, but honestly a product is a product to me. I guess this is one business where it pays to not be shy. I can't wait to start.
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