Standing Still

Things are still at a stand still in my life. I have filed the divorce papers, but I have to wait 60 days for it to be final. Bear and I are still on pause as well. I feel like I am just waiting for everything right now. However, I don't mind it as much as I would have once. I feel like it is a much needed lesson in patience. I appreciate the chance to test my ability to wait and curb some of the impulsiveness I have been developing in the last few years. It is difficult, but I am managing pretty well.

There is really nothing else to say other than waiting, waiting, and waiting some more. :)

Exhausted

Between preparing everything for the divorce, school, and packing I am thoroughly exhausted. I have a ton of things to do and not much time to do them. I am also essentially broke until I get my student loan refund which should be next week. I just hope I can get everything to come together. Preferably before I collapse. I am so thankful I have Bear to help me with everything. Even though we are not technically dating or doing anything naughty, we are still close. I can't wait until I am moved out and settled on my own as a single woman. I only hope everything goes well. Wish me luck.

Changes

Sir and I are getting a divorce. We have been separated and sleeping apart for over a month. All that needs to be done is filing the paperwork and getting my things ready to move out. It will take another two or three months to get it finalized. We have just grown apart. Because of the pending divorce I have told Bear that we need to take a break for awhile until I get settled in a new place and get steady work.

The Other Half of My Soul

I have found the other half of my soul. I'm not really sure how I lived before. The moment I met him we connected. His name is Bear. It was incredible. I never realized how incomplete I felt before. We are perfect for each other. He is a slave and he definitely brings out my Domme side. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect person. He is everything I have been missing in my life. We have not spent a day apart yet. I dread it because it is hard enough being apart for a few hours. When we are together I don't want to let him go. I always feel so content when he is near me and when we part it feels wrong. He soothes me like no one else ever has and when we are together I feel whole.

Officially the Weird One...

So its finally official...I am the weird one in my family. The one that you come to when you have something weird or potentially embarrassing to inquire about. So let me break down the evening for you:

My 15 year old nephew confided in my sister that he is bi-curious and a furry. Being a lesbian she knew how confusing it can be when you are young to have these thoughts and feelings, but she felt out of her depth. So she called me and told me the situation. She is aware that I am in the BDSM community so she felt I would be better equipped to handle his questions. I agreed to talk to him and she said she would tell our brother (his dad) that I was willing to talk with my nephew.

Now for a little bit of important family history. My brother and I only recently started talking after a 5 year angry silence. So imagine my surprise when he called me immediately to talk. He wanted to understand what it meant and was honestly asking my opinions and advice. Not only that but after I reassured him, he invited me to dinner next Sunday to talk to my nephew and bake cookies and watch videos. It was amazing.

I guess its just good to know that even though I'm the "weird one" I have a place in my family. Its nice to be needed. :)

Nothing Much...As Per Usual

I was going to say I haven't been blogging because I've been busy, but in the interest of truth thats not why. Honestly all of the things keeping me busy are fairly mundane. Sir and I moved...again. So that has been the major part of my busy-ness. Also I am starting college on Monday and the only thing they haven't asked for is a signature in blood. Other than that I've just been trying not to be too bored and grabbing every chance at social activity with both hands and clinging like a survivor of a shipwreck clings to a floating piece of debris. Sometimes I wonder how pathetic I seem to my friends and acquaintances. The lack of social communication with anyone other than Sir and my new kitten, Pumpkin. Maybe it will be good for me in the long run, but for now it is making me crazy! I absolutely cannot wait for Monday...if only I didn't have to be awake before 8 am...

Will Work For Free

So I have been busy lately as I have stated before. Last weekend I babysat a four year old Saturday and Sunday. It was crazy. He is so energetic. And best of all, I did it for free. I will also be watching him again this coming weekend. My friends who own a bookstore are remodeling this month and they are hanging drywall this week. I offered to help them out for free as well. Also the game store where Sir and I met is moving this month and I might also help them out with that as well. Best of all my munch group has leased a dungeon space. They need volunteers to help get the space refinished and decorated by the first week of August. I am supposed to go help out this Friday. All in all, it is going to be a very busy week.

In addition to all the free labor I am offering this month, I am also still getting everything together for our move and for school at the end of August. I hate packing and I am royally sick of packing up everything we own. Especially since we are only moving 30 minutes away. I wish there were magical packing faeries. That way I could just leave out some milk, bread, and honey and not have to pack a thing. :P