Submissive Girl?

I have been wondering lately if I should change the title of my blog. In some ways I think I should leave it as is because I still am a submissive girl. I still submit to Sir and Daddy, but it seems like most of the time I am in Domme mode because of M. I am not really as physically submissive as I would like anymore because Sir and I have settled into a style that suits our relationship much better. I am His little girl as well as well as Daddy's, but I am not beaten or physically punished at all by either. It would be pretty difficult with Daddy 20 hours away and Sir doesn't really enjoy the physical side of D/s. He is much more into the mental side of it.

This presents me with a quandary. I am a submissive as well as a Dominant. I am a switch so shouldn't the title of my blog reflect that. Before I had a submissive I never really had to worry about it. But now that I am actively in both roles shouldn't I take that role and adapt it to my blog.

I think that every person changes as they grow up and get more comfortable and learn more about themselves. A person's identity is a constantly evolving entity. As I continue to grow and change and discover new things shouldn't the way I identify myself in my public and private lives change too? I think so.

Switch

I've always known that I can act dominant. I have always acted decisive and confident in my everyday life. But I have always considered myself a submissive person. If I was ever confronted by someone who was a dominant person, my first reaction was to back down and become docile. Even though I didn't always, I still always wanted to submit to anyone who seemed to be truly dominant.

I think this is one reason I felt so awkward when my husband tried to Dom for me when I told him what I wanted. He isn't a Dom. He is a dominant person to the outside world, but it felt so uncomfortable to have him be my Dom. I just didn't feel that need to submit that I feel with others. I guess this was my first clue that he wasn't a dominant at all.

Last night I brought it up with him. We usually don't talk about "my kink" much anymore. I think it makes him feel inadequate because he can't Dom me. Anyway, I told him of my suspicions. He admitted that his best orgasms happened when I was mocking or belittling him, or acting like I'm bored or he isn't turning me on.

So I Dommed him. I actually started to enjoy it. It was nice to see my straight macho husband begging me to let him cum like a little bitch while I fucked his ass. I didn't go easy on him, but he just begged me for more anyway. It was good to work out some of my frustrations on him. It wasn't good in the same way that being Dom(med) but it was good in another way.

I never really considered myself a switch before. Maybe now I will have to reconsider that. I never thought I would enjoy Domming, but I think that with him I really do. I have always said that people should try everything once...maybe in this case I will have to try it again! Too bad this still doesn't solve my problems with what I want in a relationship.